The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter And How to Make the Most of Them Now Book Review

Title: The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now

Author: Meg Jay

Genres: Self-help

Published: April 2012

Length: 140 pages 

 "We think that by avoiding decisions now, we keep all of our options open for later—but not making choices is a choice all the same."

 

Book Summary

Our "thirty-is-the-new-twenty" culture tells us that the twentysomething years don't matter. Some say they are an extended adolescence. Others call them an emerging adulthood. But thirty is not the new twenty. In this enlightening book, Dr. Meg Jay reveals how many twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation that has trivialized what are actually the most defining years of adulthood. Drawing from more than ten years of work with hundreds of twentysomething clients and students, Dr. Jay weaves the science of the twentysomething years with compelling, behind-closed-doors stories from twentysomethings themselves. She shares what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists, reproductive specialists, human resources executives, and economists know about the unique power of our twenties and how they change our lives. The result is a provocative and sometimes poignant read that shows us why our twenties do matter. Our twenties are a time when the things we do--and the things we don't do--will have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.

Review

I had been hearing a lot about The Defining Decade, and it didn't disappoint. This book offers insightful guidance for young adults in their twenties. Right from the first twenty pages, the author had me nodding in agreement. It's true that we often hear that thirty is the new twenty, yet society continues to obsess over the "forever twentysomething" ideal. The contradiction is unsettling, and the author does a great job of highlighting it.

The book follows a clear progression, covering topics like career decisions, relationships, physical and mental health. What sets this book apart is the use of real-life examples, case studies, and personal anecdotes to illustrate key points. Each chapter also includes exercises to help readers reflect on their own lives.

What I appreciate most about The Defining Decade is its focus on intentional choices. The author emphasizes repeatedly that twentysomethings need to shape their own lives. However, this book can come across as prescriptive at times, which may be a downside for some readers

My favorite quotes slash reminders

"Doing something later is not automatically the same as doing something better."

"Twentysomethings who take the time to explore and also have the nerve to make commitments along the way construct stronger identities."

"The one thing I have learned is that you can't think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is to do--something."

"We learn more about what is ideal than about what is real. Maybe we feel the cultural press to be an engineer before we find out what exactly that entails"

"To accept life in its disjointed pieces is an adult experience of freedom, but still these pieces must lodge and embed themselves somewhere, hopefully in a place that allows them to grow and endure."

"An identity or a career cannot be built around what you don't want. We have to shift from a negative identity, or a sense of what I'm not, to a positive one, or a sense of what I am. This takes courage."

A must-read for overthinkers and acute procastinators!

My rating: 4.5⭐

If you loved this book you might also enjoy Atomic Habits by James Clear, Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins , Essentialism by Greg McKeown